Can the moon see? (Random thoughts)

I've heard the moon shows the reflection of the earth and if that's so does it show everything? Can it see all of the pain and suffering or does it hide behind the clouds and stars during those moments? Peaking through the shades and weeping tears of sadness or perhaps ....  What about when my heart is aching? Will it still watch me, ache with me or will it hide again? 

I want to know how it feels when the sun slowly makes its way to the sky. Does the moon ever get angry that it has to wait another day before continuing to watch the drama of our lives or is it relieved? 

Sharing is Caring

I made the determination to engage in dialogue with fellow young women who are also fighting against their inner darkness or doubt. It's easy for me to withdraw into the shadows of corwds and just watch. But by engaging with others I naturally learn more and so.... During my Buddhist retreat in Florida I did just that.

I know I have a greater mission in life, to help others by sharing personal stories of victory over violence. These dialogues were so absolutely encouraging. I met a young women who was a survivor of sex trafficking and who has made it her mission to help other victims of sex trafficking. Another young women who had suffered from molestation, continued the pattern of her abuse in her romantic relationships and made a determination to get out of that situation so she could break the cycle for her daughter. 

I was so thankful they shared with me. Amazing, right? So again, I'm enjoying this moment and being appreciative of the place I am in life. I'm open to the experience and must keep sharing these stories. I know I'm encouraged, aren't you?

Random Thoughts

I want to dedicate more time journeling. Not writing pieces for Voices In Color, not composing encouragement pieces for a Buddhist mtg but just sitting and allowing my pen to translate my feelings into my safe space. I think its time to hit the beach with myself, my journal, my pen and the sun. 

Take time out for JUST YOU. 

My Commitment

I commit to tell my story

In telling my story I understand that 

I am allowing others in

While telling my story I commit to

Being open, honest and trusting

The reason I make this commitment 

Is to empower you to tell your story

What do you commit to?

I commit to hearing your story 

Listening to you, seeing you

I commit to being open & trusting

Of the space you're creating

I understand there will be different 

Feelings that will come up

I commit to allow myself the space

To explore those feelings

I commit to take this journey

With You

My Psychic Says

Although I've been on a bit of a hiatus because of school and some other activities, there have been different things popping up in my life that I would immediately think of as pieces but they didn't necessarily "fit" into Voices In Color. So, for the most part....I let them slip in and out of thought. 

I've jotted down a few ideas here and there but I think its time to have a little notepad with me at all times. Thankfully, I have the perfect one (actually two note pads) that I received as a gift for my birthday. I find some urgency to do this and not miss any more ideas because yesterday my psychic told me that I would be producing another show within the next year or so that is going to be driven by something I experience while I'm in school, but I have to be in school....in that element in order to get the creative motivation for the piece. Then she asked me who was in Denver? Did I know where my biological father was? She sees him in Denver and that I was going to connect with him also. WOAH! I'm becoming accustomed to just receiving what is given to me without over analyzing it. 

I never believed in psychics but I am opening up to the idea that some people are connected to the elements in the Universe in a different way so I just receive what she's saying. She hit on a few things yesterday and previously that she never knew about and we didn't dive into this deep session or anything....they were just in kind of passing. So, here we are. 

I'm putting my notepad in my bag with pen ready......for my next adventure!

Kujichagulia : Self-Determination

HAPPY KWANZAA!

Today's principle is Kujichagulia which means self-determination; define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves. 

This was the perfect way to wake up this morning, a powerful statement to consider throughout the day. My day started with this and I immediately was encouraged to get moving, clear my space, get organized, work on Voices In Color college campaign, work on school stuff and then I got a text from a friend asking if I was available to hang out. Without hesitation I invited them over because face-to-face dialogues seem rare these days! Everything is online so inviting them to my home to just chat and chill was very much welcomed. 

I still had that excitement of this statement so I shared with them and we had this great in depth conversation about life and our life's history which was very nice. I love learning about people. We even shared our personal goals for 2014. Not a resolution so much but fundamental changes we want to create for ourselves to ensure our happiness. 

So now that I'm sitting by myself again (after a long peaceful nap) I sit thinking of my own self-determination. What does it all mean for me? Here's the answer that came to me....

Define ourselves: I am a one-of-a-kind, loving, spiritual, laughing, sensitive, intelligent, beautiful bare-foot goddess with a seeking spirit. 

Name ourselves: Kiki the Love Child (I am always about love and I am proud of the name I have used in my 33 years)

Create for ourselves: Today I will work on the Voices In Color college campaign. I am dedicated this community space!

Speak for ourselves: This blog is my voice, the piece will also be my voice telling my own story and also encouraging women to do the same. 

I encourage you to take a moment and think about this principle and make it your own. 

Peace!

Kiki the Love Child

and then...there was december

December 1st. There's a taste of freshness in the air .........

It's been a while since I blogged. Lack of subject is definitely not the reason, lol. So much has been happening and this felt like a perfect time to share with everyone. The holidays are here which, whether you celebrate any holiday during this time or not, there's something in the air. The change in weather, attitudes, environment and the ending/beginning of a year affects us all in one way or another.

For me these past couple of months have been incredibly significant. As I type I'm thinking of the best way to explain it in reference to the journey of Voices In Color or Malu Presents for that matter. I'll focus on the changes that are happening that affect what I see happening around me and what I am inspired to do. Does that sound good? *and the voices out there scream loudly....YES GIRL, LET'S HEAR IT!*

Now that I have more free time on my hands I'm dedicating time to evaluating my life, my mission, my struggles and my victories. I don't want to simply go from event to event, show to show but instead build a solid plan of what I want to do within the next year, 5 years, 10 years and so on. I have decided first and foremost I am going back to school and specifically to CSU Northridge in the fall of 2014. I'm speaking into existence and will work diligently to make this happen.

During this time I've made a vow to be more involved with people, direct involvement. I'm studying sociology and I realized my love for helping people. One of the first lessons I learned in my studies is to park our personal opinions at the door and meet the person where they are. This echoes my buddhist practice and even pieces I wrote for VIC. So I'm putting this into practice in my daily life, making a conscious effort to meet people where they are. It's been pretty amazing actually. It's helped me be clear in my decision making, have greater patience for people/situations I didn't understand and ultimately helping me build stronger relationships with people.

So now today, December 1st, I'm reflecting on these lessons (as I write) and I'm anxious to formulate it all into a plan. This morning I was at our monthly buddhist meeting and it's perfectly called our World Peace Prayer Meeting. Something that was shared was about the new headquarters that opened in Japan in November has the strongest foundation in all of Japan so that it can be ready for the strongest earthquake. It is a citadel for peace. The encouragement given to us was to have this same type of indestructible foundation. YES! Isn't that a perfect imagery?!

I will have that foundation that cannot be swayed by external factors. I will be back in school full time for the Fall 2013 semester at CSUN. I will build a solid plan for my future, living out my mission of creating a community of empowerment for queer women of color in society. I AM WINNING.

Peace & Light
Kiki