It Happened To Me

This is a piece that I wrote this week for the show V for Vagina, a benefit for Bay Area Women Against Rape. I'm honored that I was asked to perform and share the stage with other powerful women who are using their voices and creativity to speak against injustice. I am debating on including it in my show but for now I wanted to share it with whoever is out there interested in hearing my story....

It Happened To Me

I was 10 when I was molested by my cousin.

The silent screams of agony, the silent pleas, he never listened

Those silent pleas’ soon turned into time and space of just silence, I stopped pleading

The door would close behind my sister and he’d turn to me

Walls closing in and I knew it was a matter of time before he’d be touching me

Invading Me

I’d fall asleep and would wake to his teenage hands fondling my vagina

He must have forgotten that it was mine and not his to touch

I used to think of my vagina as something sacred, precious but now it’s just something tainted, ruined

I was 13 when I was sexually assaulted by my brother’s best friend

His smile made me giggle, forgot that he was almost 10.. years older than me

He’d flirt and lightly smack my butt and I’d get excited

But then, his smile changed.

I remember the music being so loud…so loud it drowned out my screams

He threw me to the floor and thrust his body into mine,
His sweat was dripping on my face as I was beating him

as hard as my little 13yr old hands could

more sweat dripping

I kneed him right in the dick, he finally backed up

But he backed up just to grin at me, it was a challenge

I ran

I reached outside and began screaming, “HELP ME! ANYONE HELP ME!”

His voice trailed after me, “I’m not done yet”

See I was the victim then but now I am a survivor

It happened TO me….it isn’t WHO I am

I no longer have something tainted between my legs

No no, what rests there is a diamond, a palace because I am a Queen

I’m tired of hiding behind baggy clothes thinking

If I wear something form fitting then I am “asking for it”

Let me correct you, kind sir, what I’m asking for….excuse me, what I am DEMANDING is respect

Now I recognize the beauty of my thick legs, curvy hips and full breasts

That my body is something to be treasured

Because I am a Goddess