Branching out

It feels like a year has passed since I produced Voices In Color and its only been a few months. I've started a few new pieces and I'll admit I'm actually inspired often. I've had the opportunity to sit with so many new people, hear their stories, travel along distant memories and all of that feeds me. I've been reminded the purpose of this show is to tell all of these colorful stories, to share them, to give them a new life. Because all of these wonderful stories create the lives we're living.

Now that I'm in LA I'm a bit scared, I'll admit. I had built such a strong network of folks over the past several years in the Bay so it felt easier to get people in those seats. Out here there's SO MUCH! So many options for everything, lol. I know the quality of my show and the affect of the material. Now its time to think promotions, figure how to sell it (hate that part of it). I've been blessed with some great contacts, I'll admit. I've been approached by a beautiful group of women from San Diego to produce the show there so I'm going to focus on that since the contact has been made. I will conquer LA.....soon.

Malu....

Taking another step

Last night I was inspired to write some more for my show. I had to put VIC on hold because of my recent move to LA and my new job. Everything happened so quickly, so right after the play I was gone and grinding to make this transition happen. I've been feeling crazed at times as I move through these days and missing that thing that energizes me. So I've determined to reconnect with myself and continue digging deeper into myself. Because that's what this play was for me, telling many of my own stories became therapeutic.

I've been changing how I look at some of my situations and perceive it as a play, a short story to share, an experience that will be felt by others. *exhale* Some of these days are more challenging than others to be inspired but then I go back to the encouraging notes I received from the audience, pictures of the standing ovation, remembering the energy the cast had when they'd come off stage, the tears, the laughter ....and our cast photo! THAT picture makes my heart smile and I'm there again.

1st step, booking the venue again. Stay tuned..

The Aftermath

WOW! ...They say time flies when you're having fun and that is NO joke. The play was amazing!! Its weird because I've had this conversation and reflection with so many different people since the show and although it all definitely happened, it still hasn't totally resonated. Because so much has happened since then and I haven't been able to gather all of the cast together to reflect (writing on my to-do list).

There has been interest in doing a documentary, 2 people have voiced interest in doing a short film with some of my stories.....and everyone has been asking when will there be another show. Some of my favorite comments were the appreciation they had for the feeling of the show and the cast. I was told that it felt very professional and comfortable at the same time. The audience enjoyed this honesty that was given to them and opened themselves up to be reflective in those moments. From an actors point of view, I LOVED doing my piece "It Happened To Me" and being able to make eye contact with different people. The felt me and I felt them....they "knew" my pain all too well. Being able to have that connection is ....indescribable.

I was able to make enough, from donations, to book the venue again for a second show!!! I was so nervous but people have supported and I'm excited to begin pushing for a more regular show. After seeing how it all came together I'm also excited to begin building the show, tweaking it and adding some improv. Very excited.

The challenge is doing all of this from LA....but you can't stop this Capricorn once I've set my mind to making it happen. Watch out now!

1 week from today

In 7 days I'll be getting ready for the preview of my show, Voices In Color. WOW! This is unreal...in just ONE week!

I'm getting ready to pack the car up with our props and head over to the House of Music. I'm getting so excited to see everyone on stage, to hear their voices bouncing off the walls and to work out details. There are plenty of details to work out but we have come so far!! I remember telling my friend about what I wanted to do and her pushing me to begin planning....to manifest my dreams. And here we are, 1 week away.

I am praying that everyone who joins us is open to the experience, open to the journey we're going to take them on. The pieces are so personal but I know its not just my story, its OURS and I want others to feel invested in this project so we can continue.

I believe in it...and that's a start

Share Your Skills!

Last weekend I was invited to conduct a workshop at the Femmes of Color Symposium & discuss my show, particularly my process. The idea was to SHARE MY SKILLS. I thought to myself, what do I have to share?

I sat down to think about this workshop, began going through my documents and jotting down "skills" I could share. And I realized I had plenty to share and focused on how I've been able to produce this show with very limited resources. I have years experience not only in theater but as an event coordinator. Combining those experiences has helped tremendously. But what has been the driving force is believing in this project and inviting others in the community to become apart of it.

Another benefit of conducting workshop was that I heard from the cast exactly how invested they were which touched me in a way I hadn't expected. This workshop was definitely a benefit for me.

Something that I told the attendees & the cast, that I'd like to share to those reading, is this: Stay true to your art, your creativity as much as possible and don't change your content to accommodate others.  (My opinion, of course).

Peace, Kiki
Malu Presents

I'm exhausted

It has been a whirlwind! We just wrapped another rehearsal and I'm exhausted. To pay for the show I'm working extra jobs at all hours and then rehearsing...ya girl is tired. But watching these ladies perform gives me another boost of energy, talk about a second wind!

The highlight today, well there were 2. We had a photoshoot and that was such a great experience. I'm anxiously waiting to check those pictured. A big & sincere thank you to Emily Rose, that girl is hella dope. She brought such a great energy to the rehearsal. The 2nd was watching my apartment turn into a rehearsal studio & a photo studio!! The things we can do with our limited resources. Use your creativity!

Again thank you to the cast who give so much of themselves & a shot out to Phaedra who's been sick but came 100%! You ladies keep me inspired

Now its time for rest, till next time. Peace.

Rehearsal! Rehearsal!

WOW! I'm in the middle of rehearsal and this is off the chain. We started rehearsal with chatting about sex with a man, sex with a woman, being a slut and if its ok to be a slut with your partner, the beauty of an aggressive femme, strapping, love being fluid...yup that was our first hour. I just learned so much about these women, more than I had ever planned and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. HA!

I'm so thankful for having a group that is open and trusting of the space they're in because this was most definitely a "bonding" moment. Indeed.

Now we're :HACKED by Codi: KIKI IS THE BEST THIS PROJECT IS TRULY JUST POWERFUL TO BE APART OF (message from one of our cast members which I decided to keep so they're even a part of this blog)

LOL! There was so much laughter tonight, GREAT improv and re-working of the show. Tomorrow we rehearse in the space and this will be the first time they see the space. I am moved by everyone's energy! *exhale* I'm in total bliss right now. 

Thank you to the cast - you ladies are amazing! G'night 

1st All Cast Rehearsal

Talk about being speechless! This past Sunday was the first day we had an all cast rehearsal and I was so moved by everyone's enthusiasm, this group is truly amazing. I'm humbled by everyone's support and in the words of my homegirl, this is EPIC!

I was really nervous to begin this process but once we started our read-through my excitement grew and grew. One of the best moments was as I was directing one scene and turned around to see the others watching with curious eyes as to what was coming next. There's a piece called The Beauty of Her Body that is so amazing to me and since we began practicing it has evolved significantly. I even LOVED another actor's response as she watched and later voiced that she wish she could've been in that script. THAT type of excitement is what I crave. Its the test of the material. Seeing the actors become so engaged reassures me the audience will feel the same or at least feel something!

Building the calendar for August rehearsals brought on.....what's the word I'm searching for? ANXIETY!!! *exhale* There's so much to do, lines to memorize, characters to build and its time to seriously grind!

Stay tuned folks....there's SO much to come!

Peace, Kiki
Malu Presents....

Kickstarter

I just submitted a proposal to Kickstarter to help fund my program so please send me your encouragement, prayers, energy and well wishes (also accepting donations to help fund Voices In Color)

Description of project:

Voices In Color is a theater show giving a safe space to queer women of color (qwoc) to share their stories, their lives and their voices. This show is a collection of shorts reflecting the lives of different qwoc. As an organizer in the community my aim is to bring visibility to this colorful group of amazing women, showing our struggles, our passion, our victories we experience through our eyes with our voices. The first show is written by me but the show will continue happening monthly with rotating writers and actors getting their chance to express themselves.

and the name of the play is.......

before I tell you, I want to explain a little background (just in case you don't already know). This vision of a show began when the group of us were sitting at Velvet Lounge, faithfully every Sunday, watching The L Word. I was excited to see "lesbians/queer women" on tv even if it was scripted. But show after show, I realized that the idea of it was more satisfying than the actual product. I'm sure many of you have had similar discussions over the show but I appreciate it for what it was. That's when my seed of a dream began which was to create a show that gave a real voice to queer women of color since there was a serious lack of representation out there.

Now fast forward to present day and as I began moving on this I was able to more clearly define what project was to become. Its a program, creating a space for queer women of color to tell their stories of life. We all have a story, multiple stories to tell and what better way than live theater. Theater shows give way to a special type of expression. With this I bounced around ideas with some friends and they helped me come to the title

== Voices in Color ==

Yup! I'm excited! Because we are a colorful people, our lives are colorful with emotions and experiences now we will use our voices to share that with everyone. I hope you feel it like I do. 

Peace and I'll see you at the theater

Kiki Poe

Malu Presents...

AUDITIONS!!

I'm re-focused and grinding! Sunday, July 9th, I'm holding auditions for the rest of my script and am very hopeful to cast at least 2 more roles. Its a short notice but its a step towards completing my goal for the month of July. I'm scheduling a follow up audition on July 23rd to keep the ball rolling. I'm also working on scheduling rehearsals throughout July for the scripts that have already been cast. It feels really good to be making these moves in the direction of manifesting my dream.

Completed Tasks (I'm such a Capricorn)
Audition Application
4 scripts complete
3 scripts near completion
Rehearsals scheduled

and I'm working on a staff schedule. Yup, I've got a Stage Manager and an Event Coordinator already booked for the event. So much to do but the excitement keeps me smiling through it all.

Malu Presents...

To My Missing Creativity

Dear Creativity,

Why have you left me? Is it because when you were crying out to me I pushed you aside promising that we would play later? Was it when you skipped around in my dreams I failed to get up and jot down all that you gave me? Or was it when you ached to be released I pushed you further inside trying to hush you? I can't apologize enough. Now I'm the one aching for your voice, your eyes to speak to me, for your energy to take over mine. Please come back, you're dearly missed and I just don't know how Malu Presents can move forward without you. If you thought you weren't appreciated, trust and believe you are yearned for! *sigh* I'll be here, staring out the window, holding onto my pen, anxiously awaiting your return.

That Girl....is complete

Just a short update for anyone out there paying attention. I'm VERY pleased to report that I found a monologue that I had written last year and, of course, LOST! Thankfully it surfaced recently and I edited it, now its complete and definitely ready to be performed. *exhale*

Such a good feeling to see that this project is coming along. Its definitely not as quickly as I'd like but its still happening and pretty much on schedule. I sat on my couch this morning, laptop in front of me, breeze blowing through my deck door...and I began writing. I realized I had more stories started than I remembered which is lovely! I'm further ahead than I thought.

Update: I have 7 pieces started with 5 of those pieces complete. YAY!!!

A Special Kind of Love Story

Yesterday I was talking to my co-worker about how excited I am to have this play slowly become a reality but the reality for me was that I hadn't felt any urge to write in a month. Nothing. Absolutely not a damn thing! Which really worried me because that goes against my finely tuned timeline. Then I saw a supporter of mine, who I haven't seen in roughly a year and she was SO excited to hear about what I had going on. When I shared with her that I was almost done with my play her eyes lit up and she immediately grabbed my arm and said "You have to keep me informed, let me know when it is and I'm there!"

I don't think she realized what the moment of excitement meant for me because it got me going again and today I wrote half a piece with the entire act blocked in my head. I wrote on my break and read it over and started cracking up! YES! Now I can't wait to share it.....well here's an idea of what happens because I can't give you everything!

A part of the story is when you are flirting with someone and they're flirting back but then you say something that borders more on the line of freaky than flirty. Then there's silence and the person doesn't respond to you....doesn't laugh or make any silence. crickets. How do you respond?

It Happened To Me

This is a piece that I wrote this week for the show V for Vagina, a benefit for Bay Area Women Against Rape. I'm honored that I was asked to perform and share the stage with other powerful women who are using their voices and creativity to speak against injustice. I am debating on including it in my show but for now I wanted to share it with whoever is out there interested in hearing my story....

It Happened To Me

I was 10 when I was molested by my cousin.

The silent screams of agony, the silent pleas, he never listened

Those silent pleas’ soon turned into time and space of just silence, I stopped pleading

The door would close behind my sister and he’d turn to me

Walls closing in and I knew it was a matter of time before he’d be touching me

Invading Me

I’d fall asleep and would wake to his teenage hands fondling my vagina

He must have forgotten that it was mine and not his to touch

I used to think of my vagina as something sacred, precious but now it’s just something tainted, ruined

I was 13 when I was sexually assaulted by my brother’s best friend

His smile made me giggle, forgot that he was almost 10.. years older than me

He’d flirt and lightly smack my butt and I’d get excited

But then, his smile changed.

I remember the music being so loud…so loud it drowned out my screams

He threw me to the floor and thrust his body into mine,
His sweat was dripping on my face as I was beating him

as hard as my little 13yr old hands could

more sweat dripping

I kneed him right in the dick, he finally backed up

But he backed up just to grin at me, it was a challenge

I ran

I reached outside and began screaming, “HELP ME! ANYONE HELP ME!”

His voice trailed after me, “I’m not done yet”

See I was the victim then but now I am a survivor

It happened TO me….it isn’t WHO I am

I no longer have something tainted between my legs

No no, what rests there is a diamond, a palace because I am a Queen

I’m tired of hiding behind baggy clothes thinking

If I wear something form fitting then I am “asking for it”

Let me correct you, kind sir, what I’m asking for….excuse me, what I am DEMANDING is respect

Now I recognize the beauty of my thick legs, curvy hips and full breasts

That my body is something to be treasured

Because I am a Goddess

Blueprints and logistics

Yesterday was the first joint rehearsal, what an amazing experience. My goal was to bring the actors in to meet and build with one another. If you're ever done any type of acting (on whatever scale) you understand the importance of knowing building a relationship with the people you're working with from the other actors, to the director to the sound engineer. We all need to feel comfortable with one another and create a space of respect and creativity. Unfortunately only 2 people could show but trust, it was still lovely!

We had lunch together and then rehearsed. The best part of the day for me was once we put the scripts down and they shared their feelings about each piece, what it made them think about, how it made them feel. That's EXACTLY what I wanted, to create dialogue. I truly believe that any artistic piece should leave its viewer feeling like they just experienced something, create some type of emotion within them whether that's anger or happiness. If I haven't done that, then I'm not expressing myself correctly. 

This rehearsal has really pushed me into my grind and now I'm working on blueprints for the coming months as well as the logistics of the showing of the completed play.

Stay tuned.....

Moving Right Along

Its midnight and I'm at it again...moving right along with my project. I've been able to cast 2 of my acts and now its time to set up a joint rehearsal. Ok, I'm excited *insert asian girl grin* and a bit nervous. This will be the first time the 2nd group gets together to read and get to know one another. This will also be the first opportunity that the group gets together and sees the other pieces. Since I set a goal of September to have this done its important that I keep this project on the front burner and I take full advantage of each day. I've been dedicating much more time to writing and character development.

I have made some significant decisions on the format of the play. It'll be done like a variety show so we'll go from one story to the next and come back to that story later on. I'm really excited to set it up like that because I was a huge fan of variety shows back in the day, think In Living Color. That was my ISH! If you're a child of the 90's you absolutely understand what I'm talking about. So characters can repeat and you can get to know them. This also feeds my ambition to have more than one play, I can develop on-going shows that bring back these characters. That, of course, is waaaaay down the line but I feel its important to keep it in mind as I build this script.

Stay tuned folks!

PEACE!

And they're flowing again

Its been a minute but the creative juices are flowing again, just took some inspiration. I've been so busy with work, Hot Box, Movement Productions, my buddhist organization (SGI) that I hadn't been in a space to really dedicated to writing. Thankfully, I've been surrounded by so many different qwoc they've inspired me in many different ways.

I realized that all the isnpiration I needed was right in front of me....I'm surrounded by interesting qwoc who have a story to tell. So instead of just moving through these days within the community, listening to everyone's stories and letting these moments pass I began categorizing these stories. THESE stories were exactly what I needed so this process of engaging with others became my research. Thanks everybody! Lol, now please don't assume that I'm just about to tell everybody's business, that's not my intention at all. Its just that to make these pieces, this script, in its entirety authentic I need real stories.

I'm almost finished with a piece titled "The Beauty of Her Body" and I'm super excited because I've casted someone for one of the parts and am working on the second person. This piece, in itself, excites me....when I describe my idea to people I LOVE the look they get. I can see they're imaginging it, feeling it as I paint the picture and they have this look of anticipation. That response feeds me....and so I am back in writing mode.

Thank you to everyone who has been sharing themselves with me and allowing me to share dream with you.

Peace, Kiki
Malu Presents....

Untitled

I had set this goal to have this particular script finished by this weekend. Unfortunately, I did not complete that particular script however I did begin a new one that I'm feeling great about. This morning I couldn't sleep so I began writing and it felt so refreshing to have this scene easily pour onto paper (whew!). Its funny, I couldn't really name the piece. I wrote the title, then deleted it, re-wrote it, deleted it and then stared at the computer....trying to force a title and then laughed to myself. Its my piece, I don't have to put a title to it right now. D'Angelo titled his song "Untitled" and people didn't question it, not that I'm really trying to compare myself to D'Angelo.

I'm so anxious to have a reading for my group piece but its been challenging to get enough females to read. The story is set at a femme dinner and I am really aiming to have a colorful group of women throughout my show. Its feeling as if I can't wrap this group piece up without having a reading. Being such a visual person I'd REALLY like to see them in action so I can do more character building.

Feb 21st already, time is flying. I need to set a timeline so I can stay on top of writing and rehearsals. My ultimate goal is to have this entire show complete and ready to be performed by September. *exhale*


"I wish to live because life has within it that which is good, that which is beautiful and that which is love. Therefore, since I have known all of these things, I have found them to be reason enough and—I wish to live. Moreover, because this is so, I wish others to live for generations and generations and generations." - Lorraine Hansberry

First Rehearsal!

I can't even begin to express how I'm felling, the high that I'm on right now! This is the most amazing andrenaline rush....wow!

Tonight was the first rehearsal for my completed script "The Breakup" (the title is in draft mode). Words can't describe how thankful I am for both Angela and Amy to participate in this reading. They immediately jumped on board and became invested in something so personal for me. I couldn't have asked for a better pair to be involved. Like Erykah said "I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit." I'm the person that's somewhat hesitant to have anyone read what I write because I'm afraid of what their reaction will be. It can make sense in my head but for a piece to have legs and go somewhere it'll need to make sense to those who read it. Furthermore for the audience to truly experience the spirit of the piece those reading it have to make it their own....and these ladies were doing that tonight.

My living room became a theater and I sat watching my words, thoughts, feelings and imagination come to life before my eyes. My dream was manifesting in front of me and I'm sitting here wondering "did that just happen?" I remember when I was the actor on stage trying to understand what the director wanted, was I expressing the feeling that was intended and now I sit in the director's chair. What an incredible shift!

I'm in absolute ecstasy, thank you!

The Breakup!

I'm ecstatic because I've completed my second piece. The first was a monologue and this is a script with two characters. I was encouraged to keep writing by a couple of my friends and I did. Of course, its still in draft mode but the MOST exciting part for me is that its ready for a reading. I've already got one person who's volunteered to read (thanks A!) .....this was my goal in 2010, to complete a piece so that it would be ready for a reading. I finished the monologue but I specifically had in mind a script with 2 characters.

The Breakup is about just that....a breakup. But I wanted to show the emotional and manipulative side of some breakups between women. I commonly hear straight people say "it must be easier for women." They have no idea! Women are driven by emotions therefore making our relationships overload on emotions. Now think about that desperate emotion when you're loosing someone....times 10. That's what I wanted to bring to the stage. Show that reality.

A short draft

G1:     Don’t put your fucking hands on me. (pause) I’ve been calm but DO NOT put your hands on me.

G2:    (desperate) I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. I don’t understand what’s going on and I just.....will you please stop packing and talk to me? Just talk to me, please. I love you, why are you doing this to me?

G1:    (shocked) To you? Wow (mumbling to self)

G2:     Stop packing! You’re being ridiculous (begins shoving her away from the suitcase)

G1:     What are you doing? Let me go!

(G1 begins shoving G2 away and begins loosing her cool. G2 begins shoving back)

G2:     (attitude changes and becomes manipulative) Look at you, you're acting crazy!

G1:     Oh my God! This is insane, YOU are insane. (throws down clothes that are in her hand and tries to walk away)

(G2 grabs G1 with force to stop her from walking away)

And thus far....

(I began writing this just before the new year)

In less than 48 hours it'll be a new year, 2011. I began writing pieces for this play earlier in the year and with making this determination to really dedicate time to manifesting this dream I want to make sure that it doesn't' fall to the back burner, yet again. This blogging is definitely helping me remain focused and reflect on my minor victories and obstacles that will tell for a great story once my play is complete.

While on break at work I began reading through my older piece called "I Am" and really liked where its going. That piece started with interviews that I was doing of friends, recording them sharing their experiences and kind of creating an account of the many faces of lesbian women. I'm excited to begin that process again because the piece can go almost anywhere. Its really interesting to realize that I'm taking on the task of telling the stories of queer women of color, specifically my friends. Because the reality is that, as of now, they're my main inspiration and resource. Sorry ladies! HA! (that thought just made me giggle).

So this morning I began writing another piece that I'm feeling pretty good about. As I began writing it I started thinking, this topic I'm writing about has been written about over and over again. What will make my story, my piece unique? Then I was reminded that I'm ultimately writing a theater piece so THAT is where I have the ability to do something different. How will I visually convey the feelings of the actors? What movements, facial expressions, what decisions will the actors make in their voices? This is very EXCITING!